Beginners revisited
Ok, so, I went to the milonga, in spite of ankle and
everything. I didn’t mean to; I take
very seriously the advice I got from fellow bloggers and tangueros, don’t get me wrong. The thing is,
I went for a drink with a friend, who also dances tango. He had arranged to
meet up later that evening with some other people from his class on my
favourite milonga, and we agreed to have a drink together before that. I wore
fairly non-tango clothes and sneakers (very clever of me, eh? but I had danced
in sneakers before and it’s not so bad... but anyway, just to point out I did
take preventive measures). We had a very pleasant chat and when we got up, he
said ‘You coming then?’ And of course I did. And frankly, it did me an awful
amount of good.
For one
thing, this is a milonga where I feel at home; I simply enjoy being there and
seeing the familiar faces, kissing people to say hello on the way to the
dancefloor... Also, much as I like to dance, it was fun being there not to
dance, for once. We chose a strategic position on the sofa, watched others
dance, had some wine – which was nice, because I normally never drink alcohol
when I dance; I find it’s not good for one’s balance and I don’t very much like
dancing with people who do, unless their balance is so impeccable that they can
afford it, which is rare anyway. So we were sitting there, sipping the wine and
having a good time, when the others arrived. They were two guys from a
lower-level class, one of them with his partner who also brought a non-tango
girlfriend.
Now, these
two are not very experienced dancers and they hardly ever go to milongas. If they
go, they bring their partners and dance with them. I guess it’s understandable,
they just don’t feel up to navigating on a crowded floor and coping with an
unknown partner, all at once; they think they still don’t know enough and are
afraid to bore the woman or step on her feet, or both. But then, how will they
ever learn like this?
However, I
noticed a strange thing. They danced with their partner, the girl who came with
them. But they also danced, and several times, too, with her friend, who had
never danced tango in her life and had only come there to watch. They literally
spent the evening dancing – either on the dancefloor of in an empty corner,
teaching the steps – with someone who had nothing to do with tango! Because,
apparently, with her they didn’t feel any pressure or fear messing up; on the
contrary, it must have made them feel, you know, experienced dancers. I was
flabbergasted. And, looking at the floor, I saw this guy who never misses a
milonga; he is a fairly advanced leader who makes up for his missing talent
with diligence and, to be fair, the stuff he knows to do he does well. He is
also a flagrant example of a dancer who uses his partners to boost his (apparently
shaky) self-confidence. He always dances with total beginners and keeps on
correcting them, to the point of being really obnoxious. I pointed him out to
my friend and said ‘But what kick does he get out of that? I mean, wouldn’t he
rather dance, for once, and have a good time with another advanced dancer?’
Don’t get me wrong, it is good to dance with beginners from time to time, even
if you’re advanced yourself. They will learn, and you will have more good
dancers to dance with in the future. Every decent advanced dancer ought to know
that. But it is not what it’s all about, unless you intend to make your living
that way, and, frankly, there are better ways to make a living.
Anyhow, my
friend looked pensive. ‘Don’t get me wrong’ he said, ‘but it is actually nice
to dance with beginners, there is much less pressure, and you don’t feel bad
about botched moves. You know she can’t really judge you.’
‘Sure’ said
I, remembering my beginner days, ‘and if it doesn’t work out, she’ll always
think it’s her fault. Whereas, like I found out later, if it doesn’t work out,
in about 80% of the cases it is the leader’s fault.’
My friend grinned.