Beginners et al.
Had a most delightful time last night! I danced until I could no longer
stand on my toes, and with some of the best dancers too. I remember
sitting down twice, but never for long, and several people actually
remarked on never seeing me off the dance floor. Around one o´clock I
decided it was getting late and I should go home; and as I was
massaging my aching feet, a girl sitting next to me whom I had seen at
the milonga and talked to once or twice, a beginner, said ´Ah, mais tu
as vraiment beaucoup dansé!´ I acquiesced. She went on ´Mais tu as de
la chance, toi, tu danses tout le temps. Moi, j'en ai marre de être
toujours là, assise...´ Anyway, the gist of the conversation was that
she was totally frustrated, and really cold on top of that (well, you
can´t really wear a warm pullover to a milonga, it wouldn´t be elegant,
but if you wear something that shows off your body and then spend the
evening sitting down, you end up being really cold). The problem, of
course, is that she is a beginner, and not very patient one. She said
it was a vicious circle, ´the men won´t dance with you if you´re not a
good dancer, but how the hell are you supposed to learn, if they won´t
dance with you?´ I told her it was perfectly normal and that all
dancers have been through that stage, that it was bound to get better
with the time, but that didn´t seem to cheer her up. Maybe she didn´t
believe me.
I used to be just as depressed about not dancing much
when I was a beginner; but it was also a really good motivation for me
to work on my dancing skills and learn all I could. I would always get
a few dances (I think everybody does, if they are patient enough - so
no need to despair) and besides, I quite enjoyed sitting down and
watching the good dancers on the dance floor - it was far better than
watching a film, better than Carlos Saura´s Tango.
At my first milonga I only danced with three men; still, I stayed until
half past four and left with the feeling that it had been an altogether
marvellous night.
And as my dancing skills improved, the number of
my dancing partners increased. How often you are invited to dance, and
by whom, is actually a very useful indicator of your progress
(although, of course, there will always be some good nights and some
bad nights, that´s just the way it is). I felt the most profound
satisfaction when a man with whom I first danced as a beginner while he
was very advanced and on the whole a rather good dancer asked me to do
an advanced workshop with him. Hooorrraaay!!! He had been a very good
indicator throughout - he rather likes to mentor beginners, telling
them what they are doing wrong and how to do things right, which I
found quite helpful as a beginner, but a bit annoying later on
(especially as the stuff he would point out to me were things I knew I
still had to work on). His comments grew scarcer, however, and then at
some point he stopped commenting on my dancing altogether. I still
remember my feeling of triumph:)